You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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