She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
