There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
