HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
