I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
