idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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