Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Best friends brother. Beat that.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I deserve to be covered in dicks
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
