You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
