As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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