last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
