i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
