I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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