lets start a swedish sibling band together
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
