do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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