My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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