Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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