if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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