i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
