if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
