homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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