look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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