i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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