You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
