This girl is more easily done than said...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
