gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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