Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
