The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
