great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just want to make out with him forever
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
