and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
