i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
