Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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