if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
