i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
