Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
