I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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