I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The air was thick with penises
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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