hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
