you traded sex for a burrito?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
