he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
