i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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