I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
