so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
