i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
