why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
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