I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
this will be a night to untag.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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