Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
