What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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