I need to stop coming to work sober
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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