When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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