I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
