Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
